Interracial Relationships

I was having a conversation with someone very close to me about interracial relationships.  The person I was having the conversation with asked how I felt about them and my answer was quick and honest...it doesn't bother me at all.  The fact that this is even a question had me thinking about the idea of dating someone of a different race.  It's absolutely true, interracial relationships do not bother me but if I'm being honest, I am bothered by the type of person who gets involved in interracial relationships.  I have had my own experience with interracial dating, which may surprise some people.  Let me be clear, I love black men and I love the idea of black on black love.  I'm just not opposed to someone dating outside of their race.  Now back to what bothers me about interracial relationships.  I have been a witness to so many black men who decide for themselves that black women are not who they want to be with.  Although I don't understand how they group all black women in the category, therefore not wanting to date any, is beyond me.  So they don't want a black woman who is very strong,  fiercely independent and has a strong personality (so I've heard), they do however want a woman that will be overly submissive and caters to them at the drop of dime.  That's fine, if that's the type of woman that he is attracted to I really don't have a problem with that.  My problem is that they chose a white woman who has immersed herself so deep in the black culture, that she has completely turned her back on her entire race.  If a person; black or white, hispanic or asian can turn their backs on their own race, imagine what they can do to a different race.  That is my problem.  My problem has never been about race or the joining together of races.  It has always been the idea that someone would much rather share time and space with a person who can so quickly dismiss an entire race of people, their own race. 

I am speaking on my own behalf but I'm sure other black women may share this with me; most of the black men, I know personally, I would never date.  Them going out and dating a woman of a different race is of no consequence to me.  I'm not saying that every white woman is bad for every black man, that would be a false assumption.  I'm saying that the black men that I have had the pleasure of having a conversation with, have told me that they want a woman who is submissive.  They want a woman who will never challenge their identities as men.  They want a woman who will have their dinner ready for them when he gets home form work.  They want a woman who will go out and make her own money so that she is not completely dependent on his finances.  The problem is there are plenty of black woman who actually have all of these requests but black men have decided they don't have time wonder if this black woman will "qualify" for the title of girlfriend or wife, when they know that a white woman will.  I know what you are thinking and you may be right.  You are thinking that is a very bad stereotype to place on a white woman.  Guess what, I've never dated a white woman, so I don't know whether it is just a stereotype.  I've actually spoken to plenty of men, both black and white, that have dated and married white women, and these are their words. 

I can only speak for myself, as a woman who is black, I would never trade my strength, independence or personality for a man.  I would never change who I am to please any person.  I love me the way I am and the man who wants to be with, black, white hispanic or asian, would have to accept that fact.  I am in a great relationship but if I were not I would not limit myself to black men.  Black women have limited themselves to a certain type of man for so long, that we may have passed on a great man just because of his skin tone.  There is secret that I didn't know, men of other races really like black woman they're just intimidated by what they heard about us. So black women, if you are single and looking for a new guy, don't limit yourself.  Try something new and different.  Open yourselves up to a variety of men.  And white women, if you are going continue black men, remember you can still be strong, independent and keep your same personality, if he wants to be with you he will be with you but you shouldn't have to change who you are for him.  And men, all of you, choose a woman who will lift you up.  Choose a woman who is strong, independent and has a strong personality, you will never what she will or won't do for and with you, if you are only looking at her skin.

I Speak Thoughts