I consider myself a music connoisseur . I love music and the way it has the ability to make me feel. Music is the one thing we all have in common. It can bring you from a place of darkness to the possibility of light. It can make you feel good even when you feel so bad. It can put you in the mood to be with someone special. It can make you realize that you don't want to be with the person you are with. Music lends it's voice to life issues. Music bridges together the old and the young, black and white, rich and poor, even democrats and republicans. We all share a love of music.
For me, I am a R & B woman. My favorite artist is R. Kelly. I think he is a great musical genius of my time. He is for me what Marvin Gaye was to my parents. He breaths life into his music and leaves it open for interpretation. He has the ability to sing songs like Down Low and Trade In My Life and put them on the same album. Not only can he sing the hell out of a song but he has been blessed with the ability to write great songs for others to sing. I love the way I feel when I'm listening to the melodies and hearing the words. I can go on and on about the genius that is R. Kelly but I won't.
Like I said, I am a R & B woman. I love the music of the 50's, 60's and 70's. I love this era of music because of their abilities to embrace their struggles through song. They sang songs that spoke out against what they were going through. The men sang about treating a woman like a queen. The women sang about being in love with the strengths of the man. They came together for the benefit of everyone. History books tell us that behind the scenes that had drug and martial problems but you would have never known that listening to the music.
I must say though I am partial to R & B, I have been known to listen to every other musical genre. Music has surely changed. Men call women bitches and hoes while women decide to dance in their videos. I really don't like the direction that music has taken but I understand. Times will always change so I'm hoping that musical history will repeat itself. I guess what I'm trying to say is I am not a fan of rap. I don't like the idea that men call women out of their names and women are so quick to answer. Since when did that become okay. Music is interpretative so I'm pretty sure there is going to be people who disagree but I'm not going to listen to music that speaks so negatively about me as a Black Woman. These rappers talking about drugs, fancy cars (that they don't even own), big houses (that belong to the record executive) and other rappers (that are doing the same thing they're doing). Seriously, STOP THAT!!! The people of the 50's, 60's and 70's may not have had a lot but they made music to make you feel good. That's just my opinion. The reason I think music connects us more than anything else is because it's an art. I love music because it gives me something to think about all the time.
Music comes from experience. I can't like every song because I can't relate to every song. Music moves me. It gives me ideas. It educates me. It speaks directly to me. Music often echoes my feelings without anyone knowing. I love music because it connects us all.
I Speak Thoughts
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Justice or Just-Us
- Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Let's be honest, we have given up on the Justice System. A system that has been built on the death of black men and women. A system that works for the rich and against the poor. A system that murders the innocent and frees the guilty. A system that hinders instead of helps. A system that teaches our kids that Justice is For All while justice is racially motivated and class distinct. Let's be honest, the Pledge of Allegiance is a lie perpetuated by the government and taught to our children in school. The United States Constitution was written by a group of men, most of, who proudly owned slaves. We live in a place called the United States of America and we are everything except united.
I am trying to understand how we, as a people, can sit around and do nothing when we see injustice happening. We have been a witness to the injustices of this nation and yet we don't speak up until something huge happens. I, like so many other people, did not know who Troy Davis was until about 2 weeks ago. When I heard about his legal situation, I begin to research his case. It's sad to say but nothing about the outcome shocks me. Troy Davis was a black man in 1989 living in the south. He didn't have a lot of money and was only represented by a Legal Aid Attorney. For those not familiar with Legal Aid Attorneys I'll tell you who they are. They are lawyers who get paid by the state to represent you in a legal matter. Because they are paid by the state they are not given much time or money to provide you with the best representation that should be afforded to you as a citizen of the United States. Anyway, Troy Davis was convicted of killing and off duty police officer and sentenced to death, all based on eyewitness testimony. In the past 20 years since he's been on Death Row, 7 out of the 9 eyewitnesses who testified against him have recanted their original testimony. One of the remaining 2 witnesses is a man who allegedly, confessed to the crime to many of the people at the scene of the actual crime. With all of this reasonable doubt, the State of Georgia executed Troy Davis at 11:08 EST on September 21, 2011. I'm not saying that Troy Davis was innocent but I do believe that he should have been given the chance to prove, beyond any reasonable doubt, that he was. Like I said, I am not shocked about the events surrounding this case because this is not the first time a person has been "murdered" by our justice system and if we don't lend our voices to the injustice, it will not be the last.
My heart goes out to the family of Officer Mark MacPhail. I don't know what they have endured over the past 20 years and I pray for them. Last night while I was watching and interview with the mother of Officer MacPhail, I actually felt disgusted that a woman who lost her son so tragically could say that another mother's son deserved to die. Death is so final. Death does not bring another person back. Death is not the answer. I do not believe in Capital Punishment for any reason because I am not God. There is no person or persons who should have so much control of another person's life. I believe that EVERY person has the right to redemption. I also believe there is no timeframe for that redemption. I believe that people, know matter what they have done, can be saved by God. Who are you to say that a person should or should not die?
Yes, the events that surrounded the case of Troy Davis should be an eye-opener to every person who calls themselves free. I hope this opens the hearts and minds to ALL people. Freedom is not free and it comes at a high price.
#RIPTROYDAVIS
#RIPMARKMACPHAIL
Rest in Peace to those people who lives should not be in vain.
I Speak Thought
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Childhood Memories
I have a date this evening!! I am so excited about my date!! I can't wait to get home, dress in something nice and go on my date!! We're not going very far. In fact, we're not leaving the house. Tonight, A'jamaani has invited me to join her for a tea party!! I'm pretty sure Jamaal and Drake are going to join us and I absolutely can't wait!!
What is your favorite memory about your childhood? I always think about my memories from my childhood and the impact on those memories. I wonder if my parents ever thought about the memories I would have. I must say, it's the one constant thing on my mind as I raise my children. I wonder what my kids will say when asked the question as an adult. My favorite childhood memories are clear. I loved all the time I spent with my parents and my sister and brothers. It's funny, I can't remember the clothes or shoes. I can't remember the over the top birthday parties. Those things does not have an impact on my life today. However, I do remember my mom and my sister teaching me to ride a bike. I remember my mom's face when I finally did it on my own. It's a memory that lives in my mind. I remember my dad bringing home the best goodies from his job and letting us really enjoy them. I remember my sister bringing me to the school ground and letting me skate with her and her friends. I remember the baseball summers and the bike club. I remember the barbeques and crawfish boils when my parents were throwing down on the food. I remember Saturday mornings with my sister and brothers. I have all these memories and for some reason I can't remember the "stuff".
As a parent, I hope to help create the same memories for my children. I want them to remember the times we spend together not the amount of money I spent on them. I want them to remember story time and tea parties. I want them to remember learning to ride their bikes. I want them to remember the road trips that we take and how much fun we have singing in the car. I want them to remember all the times I went to their schools just to check in on them. I want them too remember how involved we are in their education. I want them to remember this because I know the impact of these kinds of memories.
So many parents are really friends with their kids. They think their kids are going to remember all the toys they bought them. They think their children will remember the new phone they gave them. They think their children will remember that brand new pair of shoes. They think they can buy their children's love as a child and when their children become adults the children will remember all the things. I love to be the bearer of this news: your children will not remember any of that stuff. What your children will remember is if your face lit up every time they entered a room. They will remember their favorite book that you read to them. They will remember you cheering them on for getting an A on a test or a smiley face on their homework. If you think you have to buy their love now then I can assure you will be in debt to their love later. Look at your life and the foundation it has been built on. You can always tell the kind of parents someone had by the way the raise their children. I know some things about the way you raise your children will change but if the foundation is strong then you will value the time you have with your children.
I know so many parents who have spent more money on their children than they have spent time. It's a sad thing but the reality is very real. I'm not saying I'm the best parent but I am saying that I would rather spend 10 quality minutes a day with my children that to spend $1,000 on something that holds no value to a child. So again I ask, What is your favorite memory about your childhood? If you are honest with yourself about your childhood then you will probably notice the impact you are having on your children. Just as a test to yourself, do something that you know will be create more of an impact to the memory of your children's childhood.
I know so many parents who are creating the best memories for their children. To you, I say, keep doing what you're doing and maybe we can be the parents who change the world for the better. If we continue to raise our children with positive minds then we will create a cycle of happier children. So while I'm enjoying my tea party with my kids this evening, I will make a toast to Happy Memories!!!!
I Speak Thoughts
What is your favorite memory about your childhood? I always think about my memories from my childhood and the impact on those memories. I wonder if my parents ever thought about the memories I would have. I must say, it's the one constant thing on my mind as I raise my children. I wonder what my kids will say when asked the question as an adult. My favorite childhood memories are clear. I loved all the time I spent with my parents and my sister and brothers. It's funny, I can't remember the clothes or shoes. I can't remember the over the top birthday parties. Those things does not have an impact on my life today. However, I do remember my mom and my sister teaching me to ride a bike. I remember my mom's face when I finally did it on my own. It's a memory that lives in my mind. I remember my dad bringing home the best goodies from his job and letting us really enjoy them. I remember my sister bringing me to the school ground and letting me skate with her and her friends. I remember the baseball summers and the bike club. I remember the barbeques and crawfish boils when my parents were throwing down on the food. I remember Saturday mornings with my sister and brothers. I have all these memories and for some reason I can't remember the "stuff".
As a parent, I hope to help create the same memories for my children. I want them to remember the times we spend together not the amount of money I spent on them. I want them to remember story time and tea parties. I want them to remember learning to ride their bikes. I want them to remember the road trips that we take and how much fun we have singing in the car. I want them to remember all the times I went to their schools just to check in on them. I want them too remember how involved we are in their education. I want them to remember this because I know the impact of these kinds of memories.
So many parents are really friends with their kids. They think their kids are going to remember all the toys they bought them. They think their children will remember the new phone they gave them. They think their children will remember that brand new pair of shoes. They think they can buy their children's love as a child and when their children become adults the children will remember all the things. I love to be the bearer of this news: your children will not remember any of that stuff. What your children will remember is if your face lit up every time they entered a room. They will remember their favorite book that you read to them. They will remember you cheering them on for getting an A on a test or a smiley face on their homework. If you think you have to buy their love now then I can assure you will be in debt to their love later. Look at your life and the foundation it has been built on. You can always tell the kind of parents someone had by the way the raise their children. I know some things about the way you raise your children will change but if the foundation is strong then you will value the time you have with your children.
I know so many parents who have spent more money on their children than they have spent time. It's a sad thing but the reality is very real. I'm not saying I'm the best parent but I am saying that I would rather spend 10 quality minutes a day with my children that to spend $1,000 on something that holds no value to a child. So again I ask, What is your favorite memory about your childhood? If you are honest with yourself about your childhood then you will probably notice the impact you are having on your children. Just as a test to yourself, do something that you know will be create more of an impact to the memory of your children's childhood.
I know so many parents who are creating the best memories for their children. To you, I say, keep doing what you're doing and maybe we can be the parents who change the world for the better. If we continue to raise our children with positive minds then we will create a cycle of happier children. So while I'm enjoying my tea party with my kids this evening, I will make a toast to Happy Memories!!!!
I Speak Thoughts
Friday, September 16, 2011
Change Is Coming
Doing the same thing you've always done and expecting a different outcome.----Definition of Insanity
Lately I have been thinking about my future and the future of my family and I realized I want more out of this life. I want my children to receive the best education. I want to be the best mom to them and partner to Drake. I want to do all the things I dreamed of doing when I was my younger self. I would love to have financial independence and fulfill my passion of writing. Like I said I have been thinking about it. Well today I have decided that just thinking about it is not enough. It is time to put my thoughts into action.
I am ready to live my best life, which includes losing weight. It's time to get healthy. For the first time in my life I'm thinking about losing the weight just for me. There was a time that I wanted to lose weight to fit into pretty clothes. I wanted to lose the weight to have better sex. I wanted to lose weight to be able to run outside with my children. All of this is great but I never wanted to lose weight for me. It's always been for someone else. I realized that my thought process is what has kept me from losing the weight. I'm absolutely ready to be healthy and make huge sacrifices to change my life. I'm focused on making a difference.
Living my best life also includes following my passions. As you can probably tell, I love writing and I'm confident I'm good at it. I love talking to people and I love to give advice. Those are my passions and I feel my breakthrough coming.
My life is in the midst of change and I'm proud to say I have a great support system. So to all who support me, thank you and I love you. I'm doing this so that I can be the best me when I'm in your presence. I'm striving to be my authentic self. There may come a time when you disagree with my decisions, please understand that any decision I make will be out of the abundance and prayer. The decisions I make will be for the benefit of my relationship with Drake and my children. I promise you that I will not make any decisions that have not been given much prayer and consideration. All I ask is that you continue to love, support and pray for us. I know what you may be thinking, are they leaving? My answer to that is maybe or maybe not. The reason I'm writing this is to let you know that I am very happy because I'm starting to realize the possibilities. I want you guys to know that I love and respect you and I wanted to share with you the idea of my new journey.
Now that I have given you a brief synopsis, I know I can count on you to be there for me when I need you. I want you all to know that I will always be there when you need me. I will always be honest with you and I hope you will always be honest with me!!!
I Speak Thoughts
Lately I have been thinking about my future and the future of my family and I realized I want more out of this life. I want my children to receive the best education. I want to be the best mom to them and partner to Drake. I want to do all the things I dreamed of doing when I was my younger self. I would love to have financial independence and fulfill my passion of writing. Like I said I have been thinking about it. Well today I have decided that just thinking about it is not enough. It is time to put my thoughts into action.
I am ready to live my best life, which includes losing weight. It's time to get healthy. For the first time in my life I'm thinking about losing the weight just for me. There was a time that I wanted to lose weight to fit into pretty clothes. I wanted to lose the weight to have better sex. I wanted to lose weight to be able to run outside with my children. All of this is great but I never wanted to lose weight for me. It's always been for someone else. I realized that my thought process is what has kept me from losing the weight. I'm absolutely ready to be healthy and make huge sacrifices to change my life. I'm focused on making a difference.
Living my best life also includes following my passions. As you can probably tell, I love writing and I'm confident I'm good at it. I love talking to people and I love to give advice. Those are my passions and I feel my breakthrough coming.
My life is in the midst of change and I'm proud to say I have a great support system. So to all who support me, thank you and I love you. I'm doing this so that I can be the best me when I'm in your presence. I'm striving to be my authentic self. There may come a time when you disagree with my decisions, please understand that any decision I make will be out of the abundance and prayer. The decisions I make will be for the benefit of my relationship with Drake and my children. I promise you that I will not make any decisions that have not been given much prayer and consideration. All I ask is that you continue to love, support and pray for us. I know what you may be thinking, are they leaving? My answer to that is maybe or maybe not. The reason I'm writing this is to let you know that I am very happy because I'm starting to realize the possibilities. I want you guys to know that I love and respect you and I wanted to share with you the idea of my new journey.
Now that I have given you a brief synopsis, I know I can count on you to be there for me when I need you. I want you all to know that I will always be there when you need me. I will always be honest with you and I hope you will always be honest with me!!!
I Speak Thoughts
Monday, September 12, 2011
Interracial Relationships
I was having a conversation with someone very close to me about interracial relationships. The person I was having the conversation with asked how I felt about them and my answer was quick and honest...it doesn't bother me at all. The fact that this is even a question had me thinking about the idea of dating someone of a different race. It's absolutely true, interracial relationships do not bother me but if I'm being honest, I am bothered by the type of person who gets involved in interracial relationships. I have had my own experience with interracial dating, which may surprise some people. Let me be clear, I love black men and I love the idea of black on black love. I'm just not opposed to someone dating outside of their race. Now back to what bothers me about interracial relationships. I have been a witness to so many black men who decide for themselves that black women are not who they want to be with. Although I don't understand how they group all black women in the category, therefore not wanting to date any, is beyond me. So they don't want a black woman who is very strong, fiercely independent and has a strong personality (so I've heard), they do however want a woman that will be overly submissive and caters to them at the drop of dime. That's fine, if that's the type of woman that he is attracted to I really don't have a problem with that. My problem is that they chose a white woman who has immersed herself so deep in the black culture, that she has completely turned her back on her entire race. If a person; black or white, hispanic or asian can turn their backs on their own race, imagine what they can do to a different race. That is my problem. My problem has never been about race or the joining together of races. It has always been the idea that someone would much rather share time and space with a person who can so quickly dismiss an entire race of people, their own race.
I am speaking on my own behalf but I'm sure other black women may share this with me; most of the black men, I know personally, I would never date. Them going out and dating a woman of a different race is of no consequence to me. I'm not saying that every white woman is bad for every black man, that would be a false assumption. I'm saying that the black men that I have had the pleasure of having a conversation with, have told me that they want a woman who is submissive. They want a woman who will never challenge their identities as men. They want a woman who will have their dinner ready for them when he gets home form work. They want a woman who will go out and make her own money so that she is not completely dependent on his finances. The problem is there are plenty of black woman who actually have all of these requests but black men have decided they don't have time wonder if this black woman will "qualify" for the title of girlfriend or wife, when they know that a white woman will. I know what you are thinking and you may be right. You are thinking that is a very bad stereotype to place on a white woman. Guess what, I've never dated a white woman, so I don't know whether it is just a stereotype. I've actually spoken to plenty of men, both black and white, that have dated and married white women, and these are their words.
I can only speak for myself, as a woman who is black, I would never trade my strength, independence or personality for a man. I would never change who I am to please any person. I love me the way I am and the man who wants to be with, black, white hispanic or asian, would have to accept that fact. I am in a great relationship but if I were not I would not limit myself to black men. Black women have limited themselves to a certain type of man for so long, that we may have passed on a great man just because of his skin tone. There is secret that I didn't know, men of other races really like black woman they're just intimidated by what they heard about us. So black women, if you are single and looking for a new guy, don't limit yourself. Try something new and different. Open yourselves up to a variety of men. And white women, if you are going continue black men, remember you can still be strong, independent and keep your same personality, if he wants to be with you he will be with you but you shouldn't have to change who you are for him. And men, all of you, choose a woman who will lift you up. Choose a woman who is strong, independent and has a strong personality, you will never what she will or won't do for and with you, if you are only looking at her skin.
I Speak Thoughts
I am speaking on my own behalf but I'm sure other black women may share this with me; most of the black men, I know personally, I would never date. Them going out and dating a woman of a different race is of no consequence to me. I'm not saying that every white woman is bad for every black man, that would be a false assumption. I'm saying that the black men that I have had the pleasure of having a conversation with, have told me that they want a woman who is submissive. They want a woman who will never challenge their identities as men. They want a woman who will have their dinner ready for them when he gets home form work. They want a woman who will go out and make her own money so that she is not completely dependent on his finances. The problem is there are plenty of black woman who actually have all of these requests but black men have decided they don't have time wonder if this black woman will "qualify" for the title of girlfriend or wife, when they know that a white woman will. I know what you are thinking and you may be right. You are thinking that is a very bad stereotype to place on a white woman. Guess what, I've never dated a white woman, so I don't know whether it is just a stereotype. I've actually spoken to plenty of men, both black and white, that have dated and married white women, and these are their words.
I can only speak for myself, as a woman who is black, I would never trade my strength, independence or personality for a man. I would never change who I am to please any person. I love me the way I am and the man who wants to be with, black, white hispanic or asian, would have to accept that fact. I am in a great relationship but if I were not I would not limit myself to black men. Black women have limited themselves to a certain type of man for so long, that we may have passed on a great man just because of his skin tone. There is secret that I didn't know, men of other races really like black woman they're just intimidated by what they heard about us. So black women, if you are single and looking for a new guy, don't limit yourself. Try something new and different. Open yourselves up to a variety of men. And white women, if you are going continue black men, remember you can still be strong, independent and keep your same personality, if he wants to be with you he will be with you but you shouldn't have to change who you are for him. And men, all of you, choose a woman who will lift you up. Choose a woman who is strong, independent and has a strong personality, you will never what she will or won't do for and with you, if you are only looking at her skin.
I Speak Thoughts
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Insecurities
I must admit that I have had many insecurities. It's easy to be insecure when you feel that no one looks at or listens to you. I have always felt like people didn't really want to know how I was feeling. Of course , they said they would listen and help but what does that really mean? It didn't mean anything to me. I knew that no matter what anybody said or done, my mind was already made up because of the moments of my life that held a broken trust. My insecurities had consumed the life I planned for myself. I didn't trust people, including those who were closest to me. I had my guard so high and to be honest it's just now starting to come down. The idea of letting people in is scary for me. There are things about me that are too painful to share.
So for me, my insecurities extend back as far I can remember. When I was a little girl I felt different. I mean I grew up with a sister who was older, skinnier, smarter, athletic and had more friends than I did. I mean growing up in a home where you feel you will always be treated as second best can bring on so many insecurities. I'm not blaming anyone for my insecurities because they are my feelings about myself. I am saying that when you are not told you are beautiful or smart, you start to think the worst about yourself. On top of not being told those things, I was often told that I was fat. That word is such a small word but it can have the biggest impact on a person, young or old. My insecurities didn't just one day go away. In fact, I am still dealing with some of them at this very moment in my life. The difference now is I am not letting them hold my happiness hostage. I'm not letting them get in the way of love. I'm certainly not taking my insecurities out on my children. I promised myself that when I had children, I would fill them with kisses and hugs. I would tell them how beautiful and handsome they were. I would let them know how smart they are so the insecurities I felt would not affect them in the same way they have, for so many years, affected me. And I do all of those things for my children.
So often we forget that people have feelings that are different from our own. We think everybody should feel the way we feel about certain situations. Before you judge someone about how they feel, maybe you should talk to them, they may share insight on why they feel the way they feel. I'm not ashamed of my feelings of insecurity because I am working through them. I don't like it when people talk about other people and they have no idea what that person has been through. I can always tell when a person is insecure with themselves. They are always talking about other people's insecurities as if they are getting paid. It's probably true what they say about the loudest person in the room.
I am a stronger woman because of those same insecurities. For me, some of the insecurities have turned into great blogs. But if I'm being honest, and I am, I'm the type of person who loves to hear positive things. I accept constructive criticism if I feel it's coming from a place of love. I love for someone to tell me that I have helped them with my words. I like for someone to tell me that I helped them make a more meaningful decision. It's not that I'm insecure, I'm human. We all want someone to recognize us for the good and positive things we do. I always wish that more people would recognize when I'm at a place when I just need to talk about what I'm feeling. I am a quiet person so when I say things please know that it is coming from a place of love.
Disclaimer: I love to give advice because usually the advice I give helps myself. I think I'm selfish in that way!!
I Speak Thoughts
So for me, my insecurities extend back as far I can remember. When I was a little girl I felt different. I mean I grew up with a sister who was older, skinnier, smarter, athletic and had more friends than I did. I mean growing up in a home where you feel you will always be treated as second best can bring on so many insecurities. I'm not blaming anyone for my insecurities because they are my feelings about myself. I am saying that when you are not told you are beautiful or smart, you start to think the worst about yourself. On top of not being told those things, I was often told that I was fat. That word is such a small word but it can have the biggest impact on a person, young or old. My insecurities didn't just one day go away. In fact, I am still dealing with some of them at this very moment in my life. The difference now is I am not letting them hold my happiness hostage. I'm not letting them get in the way of love. I'm certainly not taking my insecurities out on my children. I promised myself that when I had children, I would fill them with kisses and hugs. I would tell them how beautiful and handsome they were. I would let them know how smart they are so the insecurities I felt would not affect them in the same way they have, for so many years, affected me. And I do all of those things for my children.
So often we forget that people have feelings that are different from our own. We think everybody should feel the way we feel about certain situations. Before you judge someone about how they feel, maybe you should talk to them, they may share insight on why they feel the way they feel. I'm not ashamed of my feelings of insecurity because I am working through them. I don't like it when people talk about other people and they have no idea what that person has been through. I can always tell when a person is insecure with themselves. They are always talking about other people's insecurities as if they are getting paid. It's probably true what they say about the loudest person in the room.
I am a stronger woman because of those same insecurities. For me, some of the insecurities have turned into great blogs. But if I'm being honest, and I am, I'm the type of person who loves to hear positive things. I accept constructive criticism if I feel it's coming from a place of love. I love for someone to tell me that I have helped them with my words. I like for someone to tell me that I helped them make a more meaningful decision. It's not that I'm insecure, I'm human. We all want someone to recognize us for the good and positive things we do. I always wish that more people would recognize when I'm at a place when I just need to talk about what I'm feeling. I am a quiet person so when I say things please know that it is coming from a place of love.
Disclaimer: I love to give advice because usually the advice I give helps myself. I think I'm selfish in that way!!
I Speak Thoughts
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