The Racism I See

Racism sits and waits to show itself and then claims it is anything but what it is.  As with everything, you cannot deal with or heal anything you refuse to discuss.  For most black people, we know racism does not lurk in the shadows because for us it sits behind desks and decides if we qualify for a job, not based on our experience but based on our names.  And even when our names are not a deterrent our hair may be.  For some black people, they still live in such an oppressed way that they refuse to acknowledge or they don't even notice when racism reveals itself.  When people say "I don't see color", what they are really saying is, I refuse to see you. And in that refusal, they can pass you over for a job, follow you around a store, appropriate your culture, and tell you they are not racist.  Racism shoots unarmed black men and women at a high rate.  Racism inflicts a war on drugs by sending black men to jail for long periods of time for marijuana, and then making marijuana a multi-million dollar business in Colorado for white people as there are not many if any black people who are in the Cannabis business.  Racism is the refusal of politicians to have a real conversation about race in America because they are afraid of losing the white vote.  There are many facets of racism that have little to do with confederate flags.  Racism is not as outspoken as it once was, though it still shows itself in that way.

For me, "I love my blackness and yours" (Deray McKesson), does not mean I hate anybody who isn't black, just as saying Black Lives Matter does not mean other lives don't.  If you believe it does, then by your reasoning saying #FuckCancer means people are saying that AIDS/HIV, heart disease, and diabetes are okay. Put that in perspective for a minute.  Do you see how crazy that sounds?  Racism and hate are taught and learned.  No person is born to hate.  I love who I am as a black woman.  I refuse to downplay who I am to make you comfortable or fit into your box.  Audre Lorde said "If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive." That is how we should live!!! 

Erica R. Campbell

Mother

It is often said that “being a mother is the best job ever!”  It’s weird because I never looked at motherhood as a job.  For me, being a mother has been my life.  No one tells you that you, no matter how hard you try, cease to exist.  You are not told that every single thing you do will change based on your children.  Your name is no longer the name your own mother gave you, it becomes Mommy and, in my case, A’jamaani’s Mom, Jamaal’s Mom and Maachi’s Mom.  You see who you were no longer exists.  At the least, she is in you somewhere as you begin tucking parts of her away to save for a later date.  You no longer do the things you used to do and guess what, that is okay with you.
 

 I have been blessed to know some great mothers in my journey called life.  My own mother is and always has been the best person I know.  I don’t say that often and I didn’t always believe it but as an adult and a mother now, I realize it.  I realize that mom is a person who used to be different until she sacrificed her life for her children.  She didn’t always do what she wanted to do when we were kids.  But what she did was take us to church, coach us in baseball, she went to every sporting event, she disciplined us when necessary and she worked to provide us with a better life.  I didn’t know it then, but my parents were not rich.  You see my mother and father made it seem like we had all of this money.  I mean we ate good food, we had nice clothes, we lived in a nice house and for the most part my siblings and I did what we wanted to do.  I mean we played sports, was in dance, was a majorette, in the band, was in 4-H, Girl Scouts and Brownies we went to AstroWorld and water parks and visited family out of town and mom was there for everything even though she worked outside of our home.  She didn’t complain about everything she’s done for us and she still doesn’t.  Now instead, she comes to her grandchildren’s special events.
 

 I have learned a great deal about being a mother from the women in my life.  My grandmothers have all been the epitome of strength and I believe I get it from them.  I have aunts who did/do things their way, on their terms, just like I do now.  I have best friends who have I can definitely go to for advice although our kids are the same ages.  I have cousins, and wives of cousins who I can watch and get parenting styles from.  I have the women who are friends of my mom, my aunts and the mothers of my friends who I can be a witness to how they have raised their kids.  I do not mimic any of them but what I do is observe them and admire them, love and adore them, look up to them and share stories with them, laugh with them and cry with them, pray with them and talk to them.  So to every mother, whether you birthed a child, adopted a child, or simply came into a child’s life for whatever reason, you are truly a treasure.  You have been placed on this earth for a reason.  You were given the distinct honor of being a mother and with no handbook to follow you have done and are doing the best you can.  It is not a job.  Motherhood is a blessing.  WE are being rewarded for what we do with children who make us great.  We are doing a thankless act every single day.  There is no person alive that could take our place in this world.  We have been chosen by God to be a vessel to tiny humans who we will guide into adult humans.  WE ARE MOTHERS!