A friend is defined as a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. So from that definition alone, how many friends do you really have? I know exactly how many friends I have not including my family. My friends are not necessarily the people who post statuses on my Facebook Wall. The people I call my friends in my life are the people who have been honest with me even when I didn't want to hear it. My friends are the people that I have been blessed to tell something to and they have kept it a closely guarded secret because I asked. My friends have never betrayed my trust. My friends have loved me through the worst of my pain and have helped to shield me from hurt. I have always been that friend. I have remained true to myself and what I truly believe in. I am the type of person who, at one point, found it hard to forgive. I realized that forgiveness has never been about the person who hurt me but has been about me. What I also learned is just because I have forgiven you doesn't mean I trust you.
Trust is the hardest thing to get back once you have proven yourself untrustworthy. I have always tried to be honest in the hopes that no person could say I violated their trust. I take that very seriously when it comes to my relationships with people. When I was younger, someone I was very close violated my trust. I have forgiven her but she can never get back the level of trust I had for her. It's funny how people think that just because you have forgiven them, that you have somehow erased, from your mind, what they did to you. I think that when someone you love hurts you and you forgive them, the pain they caused you remains as a blueprint of what you are willing to accept from people. For instance, if someone you regarded as your friend begins dating your boy/girlfriend when you are teenagers, how can you trust they will not do the same thing when you're adults? It is true that people grow and change but the question remains; can you trust them?
On the other side of the previous scenario, I have a friend who has been there for me through everything. She has never told me what I wanted to hear but have always told me what I needed to hear. Every word of advice she gives comes from love, honesty and a truthful place. We have never lied to one another. Our friendship is built upon Truth, Honesty, Communication, Loyalty and above all Love. She knows things about my life that most people could never understand. I trust her because I only put my trust in God and he has been the strongest part of this friendship.
I have other friends that I have confided in and they have never broken my trust. I keep them close to me. We don't have to talk to each other daily because we know that when we talk it will be the best of us. I am living a more positive life so I truly don't have time for negativity around me. I remain faithful to God who continues to bless me with understanding, forgiveness and love. I have great friends because I am a true friend indeed. I have never been afraid to let go of friendships that didn't enhance my life. I have always been able to grow through the pain of loss and losing a friend has not been any different. So my questions are, Are you a friend? and Do you know who your friends are?
