The "Reality" of Being A Black Woman

I am not the women that you see on "reality" television.  It's funny that I have to say those words.  I must admit that I have watched these television shows and most times I feel disgusted by the way they look on the screen.  For the most part, I think that these women are paid to "act" a real fool.  Some would call it entertainment but let's face it, it's not funny anymore nor is it entertaining.  I watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta (not every episode) and they are portrayed as loud, mostly uneducated, ignorant and bitches.  I am not any of that.  They do not represent me at all.  Black woman have long been regarded, by other races, as everything I have mentioned.  I have to point out that I also watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and they fight, yell & call each other bitches but they are not portrayed the same as their black counterparts who do the exact same thing.

The "Reality" is that the people who pay these women to act this way are rich white folks.  If you have watched the show since it's inception then you probably have noticed that DeShawn & Lisa were not really involved in the over the top drama.  Have you also noticed they are no longer a part of the show?  The reality is the regular viewer of a "reality" show such as this one is not interested in anything other than the drama.

Let's just be honest, we all know black women who act like this way on a daily basis.  Let's be even more honest, they are a part of our families.  I also know every other race of women that act this way.  Not all black women behave in a manner that is drama filled but the reality is they are the kind of black women who are portrayed on our television and movie screens more often than any other character trait of black woman.  There are plenty of black television and film actresses that are portrayed in an extremely positive light but they are mostly in the background.  As a child, like many others, I grew up watching The Cosby Show.  Phylicia Rashad's portrayal of Clair Huxtable is the image of strength.  She was a supportive wife, a great mother, a top attorney and what every black little girl wanted to grow up to be.  She made little black girls dream for a better life and hope for a brighter future.  The fact that it is rare to see the image of Clair Huxtable on the television screen does not diminish the fact that many black woman are living their dreams with great joy. 

The reality of black women is so much more than what white people pay to portray on television.  We are strong women and have been that way for many generations.  We are educated and hard workers.  We are more than our skin tone yet we are proud of who we are.  The reality is that the women I know and love are smart and beautiful women who always are seen as inferior because of the color of skin they were blessed with.  It's true that some are loud, have little to no education and display ignorance but most black women are the complete opposite of that truth.

We have been the backbone to our families and our ancestors were the backbone to the families of the same white people who treated them as unequal and less than.  We have held our families together while the same black men that we love turn their backs on us.  We have gone to work for hours and came home and raised smart and beautiful children.  We are the women who are overlooked for jobs not because we are less qualified but because we are black.  We are the same women who struggle but never give up.

The reality is black women are layered.  We are not only stereotyped by other races but we also face those same stereotypes from the black men that have been raised their entire lives by a strong black woman.  The fact is black women have always been strong.  Now we are the financial contributors to our families in record numbers.  We love these men so hard and they turn and run away from our strength.  They say we have attitudes.  The reality is we possess a God given confidence.  They say we think we know it all.  The reality is we may not know everything but we know exactly who we are.  They say we always want to be in control.  The reality is we have always given more of ourselves than most others.  The reality of being a black woman is so much more than anything that you have seen on television.  But the fact of the matter is we will always be portrayed as we what see as long as we watch.  There is not a person alive that can tell me who I am.  I live the reality everyday.  I am a strong, confident, fiercely independent, ever-powerful woman.  That reality that my skin is black is a bonus.

Dedicated to all the Black Women who love themselves enough to know the reality about Being a Black Woman.