Love Fantasy Reality

Have you ever been so involved in someone that you didn't realize they weren't involved with you?  I know I'm not the only person that has loved someone so deeply that I let my identity fade.  When I was very young I loved a boy. (The keyword here is boy.)  I thought the sun set and rose when he spoke.  This guy was everything I wanted in a boyfriend.  He was from out of town, he was popular with the neighborhood and he was really cute.  You know all the things you really want in a boy at that age.  He approached me, so that was an added bonus.  I remember feeling like this is the guy I will marry.  You know that fairytale wedding you see in the movies.  The white picket fence.  The two kids and a dog fairytale.  We had a relationship built on trust.  We had to have that kind of relationship because we lived in two different states.  We'd talk on the phone so much that I would hide the phone bills when they came because, of course,  I always called him.  Oh this guy was the love of my life.  He always told me how much he loved me and I felt that he did.  He said that we would have the life that I dreamed of.  I did I mention those kisses. Oh my goodness, those kisses!!!  Yes this would be the man I would marry and have his kids.  I couldn't even picture my life with anyone else.


Then here comes reality.  Oh reality can be stone cold BITCH!!  I knew in my heart that the person I had seen in my dreams didn't even exist for me.  He wasn't really the guy I envisioned him to be.  He wasn't the guy that had kept all his promises.  He actually broke more promises than I'd care to remember.  He wasn't really faithful to me.  I can go on and on about this guy (and one day I will).  Still I loved this guy.  I loved him because I knew that I had put him so high on a pedestal that if he fell he would crush me.  Well I was crushed.  I will say this, we had really good times together when we were around each other.

Since then, our early teen years, we have moved on with our lives.  Marriage and kids (not with each other) are what we now focus on.  We are distant friends.  We shared a connection once upon a time.  We have grown up, no longer living in dreams.  Our dreams have turned into, for me, a pretty good reality.