Friends

A friend is defined as a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. So from that definition alone, how many friends do you really have?  I know exactly how many friends I have not including my family.  My friends are not necessarily the people who post statuses on my Facebook Wall.  The people I call my friends in my life are the people who have been honest with me even when I didn't want to hear it.  My friends are the people that I have been blessed to tell something to and they have kept it a closely guarded secret because I asked.  My friends have never betrayed my trust.  My friends have loved me through the worst of my pain and have helped to shield me from hurt.  I have always been that friend.  I have remained true to myself and what I truly believe in.  I am the type of person who, at one point, found it hard to forgive.  I realized that forgiveness has never been about the person who hurt me but has been about me.  What I also learned is just because I have forgiven you doesn't mean I trust you. 

Trust is the hardest thing to get back once you have proven yourself untrustworthy.  I have always tried to be honest in the hopes that no person could say I violated their trust.  I take that very seriously when it comes to my relationships with people. When I was younger, someone I was very close violated my trust.  I have forgiven her but she can never get back the level of trust I had for her.  It's funny how people think that just because you have forgiven them, that you have somehow erased, from your mind, what they did to you.  I think that when someone you love hurts you and you forgive them, the pain they caused you remains as a blueprint of what you are willing to accept from people.  For instance, if someone you regarded as your friend begins dating your boy/girlfriend when you are teenagers, how can you trust they will not do the same thing when you're adults?  It is true that people grow and change but the question remains; can you trust them? 

On the other side of the previous scenario, I have a friend who has been there for me through everything.  She has never told me what I wanted to hear but have always told me what I needed to hear.  Every word of advice she gives comes from love, honesty and a truthful place.  We have never lied to one another.  Our friendship is built upon Truth, Honesty, Communication, Loyalty and above all Love.  She knows things about my life that most people could never understand.  I trust her because I only put my trust in God and he has been the strongest part of this friendship.

I have other friends that I have confided in and they have never broken my trust.  I keep them close to me.  We don't have to talk to each other daily because we know that when we talk it will be the best of us.  I am living a more positive life so I truly don't have time for negativity around me.  I remain faithful to God who continues to bless me with understanding, forgiveness and love.  I have great friends because I am a true friend indeed.  I have never been afraid to let go of friendships that didn't enhance my life.  I have always been able to grow through the pain of loss and losing a friend has not been any different.  So my questions are, Are you a friend? and Do you know who your friends are?

My Year

I must say...This year has been a great blessing to me. I have discovered me.  What more could I ask for?  My relationship with Drake is stronger than ever.  My relationship with my kids is unbreakable.  My family loyalty is undeniable.  My friends are my extended family.  What can I say except I am truly blessed and highly favored.  This year my goal was to have a more positive impact on my life and the lives of people around me.  I think that I have done that.  I'm looking forward to next year because I just want to continue to grow, learn and challenge myself and others to be more positive.  I have decided to live each day and breath today's air.  I am not worried about tomorrow because tomorrow is not promised.  I want to have the important conversations with God today.  I want to live everyday spending moments with the people I love and who lift me up.  I would like to think that I have had some kind of positive impact on everyone who was able to read a blog post, facebook status or tweet that was sent from me. 

My life this year has been one of great blessings.  I have been able to share a little more of my life with you in hopes of you taking away something that will ultimately help you live your most authentic self.  Please believe my year hasn't been without trials and tests but anything bad that happened to me has only made me more aware of love and God.  I have learned something from myself that I really didn't believe before.  I am STRONG. I am WOMAN. I am a GREAT MOTHER.  I am a GREAT PARTNER.  I am a GREAT FRIEND.  I am a GREAT PERSON.  I am POSITIVE.  I am GOD LOVING.  I am TRULY BLESSED and VERY HUMBLE.  I hope you have recognized this in me but if you haven't maybe you need to look closer at yourself because I know exactly who I am. 

So for the year 2012, I will continue to grow and learn.  I will be better tomorrow than I am today.  I will always be honest.  I will love harder and give more.  I will be blessed because I will stay prayerful.  I will be here to lend my ear and shoulder and offer words of inspiration and encouragement.  I want to help in any way I can without judgment.  With all that said...HAVE A GOD BLESSED YEAR.

Struggles Redefined

I'm really beginning to appreciate my struggles.  They have led me to this exact moment in my life.  I've always wanted more out of my life but my approach has always been one dimensional.  Now I understand the reason for my struggles and I am proud to say that I have and am learning from them.  We have all been through something.  We have wondered how are we going to make it through this or that.  We have prayed, wished and hoped for something better.  The problem with the praying, wishing and hoping is that once we don't receive the answer that we want when we want it, we stop doing all those things.  We stop depending on God and we begin asking family and friends for guidance.  What we forget is that our family and friends have their own issues and problems to deal with.  So sometimes we are listening to their advice not realizing that they are giving it from their own situations.  You know they are saying, "this is what I will do" instead of giving the advice that caters to your situation.  I'm not saying the advice is not good, I'm just saying the advice may not be intended for you to hear.  And because we gave up on God, we are often taking advice from someone not qualified to give it. 

For instance, you ask a friend or family member for relationship advice and they haven't had a relationship in years.  The advice they gave you will automatically come from their viewpoint.  I'm not saying the advice is bad, I'm asking, are they even qualified to give you that kind of advice?  The answer is...probably not.  Now you have taken the advice of someone who tells you that being in the relationship is not a good idea.  Guess what? You are now single.  Think about the entire situation you are in and then review the conversation you had with your single friend or family member.  I know you are probably contemplating what just happened. 

What I have learned is that it's okay to ask for advice from someone but just make sure they are qualified to give you the right kind of advice.  After getting their advice you still must be able to listen to what God is saying.  Sometimes the person who gives you advice is telling you to leave while God is telling you to stay because your breakthrough is coming to meet you.  I love giving advice to people but I make sure I know how to give that advice.  I never say what I will do because I never know what I will do unless I'm in the situation.  Instead I give them options and I tell them that they have a God given ability to simply Pray and wait for his response. 

I have honestly learned that struggles are just road maps to a better life.  Sometimes we have to take the alternate route called change.  I am changing and I know it's because my breakthrough is fast approaching.  I want to be prepared for everything God has in store for me.  I keep a smile on face and positive thoughts about life on my mind and in my heart.  Even if I am presented with a setback, I know I will be better prepared to handle it.  I am always talking to God but I stopped telling him my plans.  LOL!!

SECRET...REVEALED

I have finally been able to free myself of a secret that I kept from my parents for 21 years.  It was not easy to walk in the room and tell my parents that when I was 11 years old I was molested.  In fact, it took me 21 years to build up the courage to free myself.  There were many reasons for me finally revealing a secret that was made my life almost a living hell.  I wanted to live my most authentic life and holding the secret had disabled that.  I think that my molester held this power over me through his death.  I was literally afraid of telling my parents because I didn't want them to feel like what happened to me was somehow their fault.  For many years of my life, I actually believed what this evil person told me.  His words kept my mouth closed and my life still.  I believed him when he said that he would kill me.  I believed him when he said my parents wouldn't believe me.  I believed him when he said if I told I would destroy lives.  At 11 years old, I believed him because then I loved him.

I am finally free to tell my truth.  To tell you that I was a victim of sexual abuse doesn't even begin to tell my story.  It may give you a glimpse of who I am but it doesn't tell you who I am.  I used to be a little girl with dreams of becoming a lawyer and living a life free of financial burdens.  I wanted to help people with their problems and I loved to talk.  I had everything figured out at a very early age.  I wanted to go to college on a full scholarship and pass the BAR by the age of 23.  I was going to start my own law firm at 24 years old and own my home at 25.  I had life figured out.  You are probably wondering how in the world could a girl have everything figured out.  The answer is simple...Clair Huxtable.

Unfortunately for me, those dreams died the day I was molested by a man (who shall remain nameless) that I loved.  I want you to know that there was no sexual intercourse involved but that is neither here nor there.  The abuse changed the course of my life forever.  That start of the day was a typical day.  I went over to his house to play like I had done so many times before.  He always let me play outside as long as I wanted to.  After playing outside and having snacks throughout the day, it was time for my favorite show at the time...Jeopardy.  I remember him saying, " come over here and sit on my lap so we can watch our favorite show."  The idea of sitting on his lap was not unusual because for as long as I can remember I would sit on his lap.  But on this day it was different.  It's funny because I felt the difference right away but I couldn't quit put my finger on it.  What happened next changed my life forever.  I remember feeling something hard touching my bottom so I jumped up but he quickly pulled me back down.  I tried to fight but of course he was stronger than I was.  I tried to scream but his hands muffled my mouth.  He whispered to me, "if you scream, I will kill you."  Imagine just for a moment being 11 years old and having someone you love threatening to kill you.  I did as I was told and he continued to do what he was doing.  Although I had clothes on, I could feel this something hard entering me.  I know it sounds weird but I felt like I was outside of myself.  I don't even know how long this went on but I seemed like hours.  After kicking and moving, I was finally free from his grasp.  I ran out the door and to my grandparents house and I never went there again.  I didn't tell anyone what happened to me until years later.

When I was 16 years old, I remember seeing his face and every memory that I had somehow shoved away came rushing back.  I started drinking just to try and forget about the pain of that day.  I was losing myself.  For the next 6 years of my life, I was a highly functional alcoholic.  What most people don't know is that I literally drank everyday because my body needed it.  I played sports, I worked at the store and I hid it very well.  I went to college and I remember my best friend, Brooke, telling me that she thought I had a serious problem.  I knew that she knew a little something about my problem but I didn't know the extent of what she knew.  At the time, I didn't care.  My turning point came when I decided that I could no longer live the life I was living.  I made a plan to end my life to stop all the pain that was going on inside of me.  (See Blog Post entitled September 16, 2005)

Today, I am over 6 years sober and I know that God has his hands on me.  I finally told my parents about what happened to me 21 years ago.  Their reaction has given me a brand new outlook on life.  I realize just how much my parents love me.  Of course, they believed me and they wished I had told them when it happened but they said they now understand why I am the way I am.  The outspoken yet quiet child.  The child who always has a strong opinion and will always stand by that opinion.  The child who has lived her own life without making any apologies about it.  The strong child that has grown up to be the mother who talks to her kids about the hard things.  They understand that my life is the way it is because I carried the burden of that awful secret all alone. I don't want people to feel sorry for me.  I have always wanted to share my story to help others to not go through what I have been through.  I want parents to talk to their kids about the hard stuff to save them from the pain that I have gone through.  I want people to be able to ask me questions about my situation and how I've made it through.  I want to start a conversation that will surely help someone else.  I don't want my story to be the story of you or your kids.  I want to speak to people about the pain as well as the breakthrough.  I want to LIVE my authentic life.

IF YOU OR ANYBODY YOU KNOW HAS BEEN A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ABUSE, PLEASE VISIT www.rainn.org OR CALL 1.800.656.HOPE(4673)

Education for Parents

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with my daughter's teacher and talk to her about the education of my daughter.  I was so happy, though not surprised, to hear that my daughter was doing really well in school.  My daughter has always been very attentive and that has definitely extended to her education.  I would love to say thank you to the teachers that has helped to shape my child's learning ability.  The truth is she is in Kindergarten and I know that whatever she learns now will determine what and how she learns for the rest of her life.

Although teachers have helped to guide my child's education, I have to say that her father and I have always taught her the things that she knows.  I believe that if parents are a greater part of their child's education, then the child will have a greater chance of being a very successful adult.  When I was a child I loved to learn but I wanted it to come easy.  As an adult, I can name every single teacher that taught me from Headstart through Senior year.  Unfortunately for me, knowing all my teacher's name wasn't enough for me to become a teacher in a classroom.  Instead I'm a teacher to my children.  I'm their first teacher.  As I sat in this Parent/Teacher meeting to get an update about how my 5 year old was handling her first year in "big school", I looked around and the room was practically empty.  There were only six parents in the room including myself.  For me, this was a very important meeting.  The teacher was giving us an update on our kids progress.  She also wanted to tell us what to expect in the next three months and what we can do to aid in our child's education.

After the meeting I started thinking about the parents who had missed out on this meeting.  I thought to myself, what can be more important than this.  For me, I wouldn't have missed this meeting and if I had to, I would have found a substitute for me.  I'm not judging anybody but as parents we have to do much better as educators of our kids.  I want more for my children than I have.  I want them to be better through education.  I know that teachers can not do it alone.  It pains me to know that some parents care more about athletics than education; they care more about going party than participating in their child's education.  Than they wonder why their kids can't spell their own name or count to 10.  I'm not saying don't care about the other things but life should have some balance with education leading the pack.  I understand that some parents are busy, hell I have a full time job 45 minutes from home, but you can still have balance.  My daughter can read and even write a small story and she is 5 years old.  She knows her numbers to 100 and the sounds of the alphabet.  She knows her shapes and how to draw pictures.  She has manners and loves to play with her brother and teach him everything she knows.  She is a smart and beautiful little girl and her father and I and our families deserve some of the credit. 

I had an epiphany after the parent meeting.  Since I have become a parent, I thought my life had been boring.  For the past 5 years I have basically been with my kids.  I don't go clubbing (by my choice).  I haven't really done anything without my kids, except the occasional R. Kelly concert.  I literally thought I was such a bore.  What I realized is that I have invested my life in my children's future.  I have made decisions to stay in and teach them rather than hanging out and partying.  What I know for sure is that I have put my kids' education above my own social life because I truly want more for them than I have.  This is not about putting parents down for not attending a parent meeting.  This is about opening your eyes to see that your kid's future depend on what you do right now.  I'm saying that your participation in their education gives them confidence to want to do better in school.  They are paying attention to everything you do, say and care about.  You can change the direction of their life if you participate in their education.  If you think going to a Parent/Teacher meeting is not important, think again.  If you think reading them a book or helping them write their names is not important, think again.  If you think listening to your kids tell a story or read a book is not important, think again.  If you think wanting better for your kids is not important, think again.  You are your child's first and most important teacher.  They want you to guide them in the right direction.  They need you to be tough on them when it comes to their education.  You have to teach them more than what they learn at school so that they can be ready for this thing called life.  I know this sounds cliche' but the kids are truly the future.  If you don't want to be a roadblock to their success, then you need to drive the education car of their lives.

PARENTS & EDUCATION MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!

Disgusted

I am so disgusted about the madness going on at Penn State.  People are rioting the fact that Joe Paterno, Head Football Coach at the University, was unfairly fired.  I would have to agree with that...he should have been fired as soon as officials became aware of what happened right under his nose and with his knowledge for years.  Joe Paterno is not the only person to blame in this case.  Many people knew what was going on and did absolutely nothing to stop this from going on. The following is an alleged chronological order of events as reported by the Associated Press:

{1969: Jerry Sandusky starts his coaching career at Penn State University as a defensive line coach.

1977: Jerry Sandusky founds The Second Mile. It begins as a group foster home dedicated to helping troubled boys and grows into a charity dedicated to helping children with absent or dysfunctional families.

January 1983: Associated Press voters select Penn State as college football's national champion for the 1982 season.

January 1987: Associated Press voters select Penn State as college football's national champion for the 1986 season.

1994: Boy known as Victim 7 in the report meets Sandusky through The Second Mile program at about the age of 10.

1994-95: Boy known as Victim 6 meets Sandusky at a Second Mile picnic at Spring Creek Park when he is 7 or 8 years old.

1995-96: Boy known as Victim 5, meets Sandusky through The Second Mile when he is 7 or 8, in second or third grade.

1996-97: Boy known as Victim 4, at the age of 12 or 13, meets Sandusky while he is in his second year participating in The Second Mile program.

1996-98: Victim 5 is taken to the locker rooms and showers at Penn State by Sandusky when he is 8 to 10 years old.

Jan. 1, 1998: Victim 4 is listed, along with Sandusky's wife, as a member of Sandusky's family party for the 1998 Outback Bowl.

1998: Victim 6 is taken into the locker rooms and showers when he is 11 years old. When Victim 6 is dropped off at home, his hair is wet from showering with Sandusky. His mother reports the incident to the university police, who investigate.

Detective Ronald Schreffler testifies that he and State College Police Department Detective Ralph Ralston, with the consent of the mother of Victim 6, eavesdrop on two conversations the mother of Victim 6 has with Sandusky. Sandusky says he has showered with other boys and Victim 6's mother tries to make Sandusky promise never to shower with a boy again but he will not. At the end of the second conversation, after Sandusky is told he cannot see Victim 6 anymore, Schreffler testifies Sandusky says, ''I understand. I was wrong. I wish I could get forgiveness. I know I won't get it from you. I wish I were dead.''

Jerry Lauro, an investigator with the Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare, testifies he and Schreffler interviewed Sandusky, and that Sandusky admits showering naked with Victim 6, admits to hugging Victim 6 while in the shower and admits that it was wrong.

The case is closed after then-Centre County District Attorney Ray Gricar decides there will be no criminal charge.

June 1999: Sandusky retires from Penn State but still holds emeritus status.

Dec. 28, 1999: Victim 4 is listed, along with Sandusky's wife, as a member of Sandusky's family party for the 1999 Alamo Bowl.

Summer 2000: Boy known as Victim 3 meets Sandusky through The Second Mile when he is between seventh and eighth grade.

Fall 2000: A janitor named James Calhoun observes Sandusky in the showers of the Lasch Football Building with a young boy, known as Victim 8, pinned up against the wall, performing oral sex on the boy. He tells other janitorial staff immediately. Fellow Office of Physical Plant employee Ronald Petrosky cleans the showers at Lasch and sees Sandusky and the boy, who he describes as being between the ages of 11 and 13.

March 1, 2002: A Penn State graduate assistant enters the locker room at the Lasch Football Building. In the showers, he sees a naked boy, known as Victim 2, whose age he estimates to be 10 years old, being subjected to anal intercourse by a naked Sandusky. The graduate assistant tells his father immediately.

March 2, 2002: In the morning, the graduate assistant calls Coach Joe Paterno and goes to Paterno's home, where he reports what he has seen.

March 3, 2002: Paterno calls Tim Curley, Penn State Athletic Director to his home the next day and reports a version of what the grad assistant had said.

March 2002: Later in the month the graduate assistant is called to a meeting with Curley and Senior Vice President for Finance and Business Gary Schultz. The grad assistant reports what he has seen and Curley and Schultz say they will look into it.

March 27, 2002 (approximate): The graduate assistant hears from Curley. He is told that Sandusky's locker room keys are taken away and that the incident has been reported to The Second Mile. The graduate assistant is never questioned by university police and no other entity conducts an investigation until the graduate assistant testifies in Grand Jury in December 2010.

2005-06: Boy known as Victim 1 says that meets Sandusky through The Second Mile at age 11 or 12.

Spring 2007: During the 2007 track season, Sandusky begins spending time with Victim 1 weekly, having him stay overnight at his residence in College Township, Pa.

Spring 2008: Termination of contact with Victim 1 occurs when he is a freshman in a Clinton County high school. After the boy's mother calls the school to report sexual assault, Sandusky is barred from the school district attended by Victim 1 from that day forward and the matter is reported to authorities as mandated by law.

Early 2009: An investigation by the Pennsylvania attorney general begins when a Clinton County, Pa. teen boy tells authorities that Sandusky has inappropriately touched him several times over a four-year period.

September 2010: Sandusky retires from day-to-day involvement with The Second Mile, saying he wants to spend more time with family and handle personal matters.

Nov. 5, 2011: Sandusky is arrested and released on $100,000 bail after being arraigned on 40 criminal counts.

Nov. 7, 2011: Pennsylvania Attorney General Linda Kelly says Paterno is not a target of the investigation into how the school handled the accusations. But she refuses to say the same for university President Graham Spanier. Curley and Schultz, who have stepped down from their positions, surrender on charges that they failed to alert police to complaints against Sandusky.

Nov. 8, 2011: Possible ninth victim of Sandusky contacts state police as calls for ouster of Paterno and Spanier grow in state and beyond. Penn State abruptly cancels Paterno's regular weekly press conference.

Nov. 9, 2011: Paterno and Spanier, one of the nation's longest-serving college presidents, are ousted, effective immediately. Earlier in the day, Paterno announced he'd retire at the end of the season. In the end, he didn't have that choice.}**

This is the most disturbing piece of information.  I can only imagine how many of kids didn't tell anybody what was going on out of fear.  These kids were not protected.  Instead every adult involved in this entire mess protected the predator.  He sexually abused little boys that he was suppose to help to be better men.  And while this was going on, he was allowed to be participate in a charity that kept bringing little boys around him so that he can victimize.  Everyone involved failed these kids in the worst way.

I don't know any of these people but I do know they entertained a man who continued to abuse little boys and they knew exactly what he was and had been doing for years.  They hold as much blame as the Predator because they could have stopped countless children from enduring this life long pain.  These kids trusted this man and the adults in their lives and they were betrayed in the worst way.  On top of being victims of sexual abuse, they now have to live knowing that more people care about the coach, that knew what was going and said nothing, than they care about what happened to forever change the course of their lives. 

The sad thing is we all know someone who is or has been a victim of child sexual abuse and most of us have done nothing to help the kids.  We sit in our homes and say absolutely nothing when we know that abuse is going on against a child.  Instead of saying something to protect the kids, we say nothing and protect these vicious predators.  I am so disgusted by this story but this story is going on in every neighborhood in this country.  If you think you are blameless you couldn't be more wrong.  If you know that adults are having sex with kids and you say nothing, you are a part of the problem of child sexual abuse.  If a child is between the ages of 0-15 years of age they can not legally consent to sex with an adult 17 years or older.  Not only is it a crime, it is also disgusting. 

I know there are plenty of people who will read this and think why I am concerned.  I say to you, these are kids and I have kids.  Kids who will one day become adults and what happens to them as kids will ultimately affect their lives as adults.  My questions to you are...Why are you not concerned? and Are you a part of the problem or will you be the solution?  Saving one child from abuse can save millions.  If you or someone you know is a victim of child sexual abuse please visit www.rainn.org or call 1-800-656-HOPE. You can save the life of a child.

** report by the Associated Press.

Help The Young Ones

I woke up this morning and my twitter timeline was all abuzz about a 14 year old girl giving oral sex near her school.  Sadly to say I was not shocked that this was going on but what I was shocked about was there was apparent video of the sexual act posted on this social networking site.  I couldn't believe that people actually wanted to see this.  In fact, I was disgusted.  I would never watch a sexually explicit video if it is presumed that either party is under the age of 18 (legal adult).  If you would, I just want to warn you that you would be watching child porn. 

I would like to address several things about this entire situation.  First, she is 14 years old and she is a child.  She obviously needs to seek counseling either from her parents or some kind of adult figure and not publicly humiliated.  The unfortunate thing is that she is not the only young person that is going through something like this.  This little girl, like so many others, is being sexually abused and for us to sit around and not speak up for her is shameful.  I don't know this little girl but we all know a young person who is having sex.  It's so easy for us to sit around and live our lives and not worry about the next generation.  If you would go to a school and ask the kids, of all ages, how many of them are or have been sexually active, the answer may or may not surprise you but it should wake you up.  We are living in a world that glorifies sex and instead of educating these kids, we are letting these kids educate themselves.  THEY ARE FAILING AND SO ARE WE.  I know some of you will say it's not our problem to talk to these kids but I would have to disagree with you.  If we don't tell them the hard truth then we will not only see a rise in STD cases and pregnancies but also in death among our teenagers.

It has to be said that I don't know this child's story but the fact that she is apparently performing sexual acts near her school makes me want to question her parents.  Where in the heck are the parents while your child is participating in such adult behavior?  I understand that you can't be in all places but this begins at home.  I'm a new parent and I worry about my kids even when I know exactly where they are and who they are with.  That will not stop for me because it will always be my responsibility to know where they are until they are adults and out of my home.  I am not naive to think the kids don't lie and sneak around.  I was a teenager and I had teenage friends.  I just knew that sex was not an option at that age.  Kissing, hugging and hand holding was fine but having sex was not on my radar because I had someone to talk to about sex.  Parents assume talking to their kids about sex will encourage them to have it.  I believe that it is opposite.  Your kids are learning about sex whether from you or someone but trust me they are learning.  They want to know what sex is all about and if you are not willing to tell them they will find another source.  I have never been afraid to talk about sex.  When I was 14, I read plenty of books about sex and I saw plenty of images about sex but I didn't have sex until I felt I was ready for the responsibility that sex will surely bring.  My friends and I talked about sex but we made our own decisions about when to have it.  I have never let anything my friends did influence my decision because I knew that I had parents to answer to.  I was, by no means, a perfect teenager.  I just didn't let pressures of my peers affect my choices. 

There is also that fact that the little girl is not the only person that was in the video.  There was a boy who was on the receiving end of the oral sex and a group of kids who was watching.  This is not okay.  Sadly, the young boy will probably be the "big man on campus" while the girl is perceived as a whore, slut or nasty.  They are equally responsible for what is wrong with our youth today.  The boy should be reprimanded just as much as the girl.  I mean he participated in the act and he needs to be talked to by an adult.  What's really going on when something like this is going on in front of a group of kids and not one of them speak up against it. 

The worst part about this whole thing is the fact that adults have viewed the video and actually blamed the girl.  They talked about what kind of shoes she was wearing.  They talked about the actual act that she performed.  They seem to have fail to realize that they have committed a serious crime.  Child pornography is a crime punishable by imprisonment and having to register as a sex offender.  Instead of watching a video, you should try and talk to a teenager about sex and what can happen if you put yourself in situations like this.  These are kids and although they need to be punished for bad behavior they need to seek counseling so that the behavior does not continue.  I would never watch a video if I even suspect the person performing a sexual act is underage.  Not only is it a crime, but it is disgusting. 

I Speak Thoughts