Someone very close to me asked me if I knew 10 marriages that I thought were good marriages. As I thought about, I couldn't name 10. I can name 10 marriages that had infidelity. I can name 10 marriages that ended in divorce. I can even name 10 marriages that didn't involve love. The thought of this question is scary to me. I have been in relationship for 8 years but I can't picture marriage in my future. It's not a question about if I want to get married, I just don't feel it necessary.
I asked my grandmother about marriages back in the day and she shocked me with her revelation. She explained that back in the day people didn't actually get married. They lived together and the woman took the man's last name because of the common law marriage. It made sense to me. Back in those days, people were looked down upon for not being married and having kids. That effect trickled down to their kids and now to us. I think when they were telling their kids to be married, they completely left out what marriage means. Marriage is a two people coming together as one. I have never read in the bible that it meant letting a piece of paper dictate that fact. The fact that more marriages end in divorce now more than ever is simply because back then people weren't actually married.
In general, relationships are difficult. They require hard work and dedication. They require trust and communication. They require love and happiness. Marriages are not different. The only difference is a piece of paper telling you you're married. We are told at a very early age that we need to get married, have kids and live happily ever after. The idea that happily ever after can mean being without a marriage is never mentioned. If people were more honest about marriage they would tell me what my grandmother told me. They would tell me the truth. The way I feel about marriage is my feelings. My best friend is married and I'm so happy for her but for me, I am not ready to choose that path.
If I could talk to my younger self, I would tell me to be who you are destined to be. Don't try to be who someone tells you to be. I would say your mom chose her path, your sister will choose her path, your best friend will choose her path and you will choose your path. It didn't take me long to realize that those paths would be different. I am happily unmarried, not because someone told me to be but because I chose. So for now, I don't know 10 marriages that are absolutely good marriages but I do know of some marriages that have stood the test of time through the difficulties, with the hard work and dedication, trust and communication, love and happiness.
I Speak Thoughts
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Death by Suspicion
Is it that just being a black man can get you killed in America? It's hard to argue against it when so many young black men are killed everyday in their own neighborhoods. What's even harder to argue is that they don't have to be criminals or "bad guys". They can look suspicious to a Neighborhood Watch Captain and can breath their last breath steps away from their father's fiance's home. They can be Trayvon Martin. This latest story has made me think about the future of my son and my nephew. I think about teaching them right from wrong and telling them to get a great education and how to treat women but it's hard to tell them all this when the truth is because they were born black, they can be killed. It's a sad reality for the black men and boys of this world.
The line by Omar Epps in the movie Higher Learning makes more sense to me now. In the movie scene he was saying that he was a threat to the world as a black man whether he was educated or not. I have been a witness to the racism of this country. I have seen white women grab their purses a little tighter at the sight of a black man. I have seen white people walk across the street just to avoid the oncoming of a young black man on a college campus. I have been a car with a white woman who took the scenic route to avoid an entire neighborhood. If you think racism is not alive and well in this country, it stands to reason that you must live under a rock.
Trayvon Martin did not have to die for black people to know that racism surrounds us everywhere we go. It's not in our imaginations. Racism is apart of our world. It hasn't changed since the days of slavery. Racism has simply gotten more sophisticated. Black people are not getting lynched, literally, but we are getting lynched. Just look at the unemployment rate of black people compared to those of our white counterparts. The difference is extremely significant. Now compare the rate to that of black men and you will see the number increase dramatically. The fact that the President is black has only increased the volume of racism. It's loud and open and not afraid to spew hate. When I see cases like Trayvon Martin I can't help but to worry about all the black men and boys that I know. They are risk of being hunted and killed not for for what they do but simply for what they look like.
It's true that black men are not innocent in the way they are perceived. Some of them often feed into the stereotype of who they should be and how they should act. They wear clothes that are too big. They drive cars that have rims on them that are too big. They hang on street corners until the wee hours of the morning. They sell drugs. They listen to the music in their cars so loud that it often feels like they will crack windows to the homes they drive by. Some of them do all these the things without caring how they are perceived by the world. On the other hand, black men are fathers. They work hard to support their families. They have corporate jobs and own their own businesses. They wear suits and ties. They go to college and receive a degree. The drive a nice car and live in gated communities. They go to church and pray to God. All of the examples have been given does not change one fact, they are black and they are perceived as a threat.
As a mother, a life partner, a daughter, a sister, a family member and friend to every type of black man, I'm scared. Scared that one day I will receive the same call that Trayvon Martin's parents received. The call saying that my child, my life partner, my dad, my brother, my family member or my friend is dead simply because he is black. It is a fear deep rooted in the black community. There is not a single white person who fears the same thing. If you have a chance go the website globalgrind.com and read the article by Michael Skolnik, titled, White People, You Will Never Look Suspicious. Sometimes we have to speak up for the injustice in the world, not because we are black but because we are people. Injustice against black men is an injustice to all people. Speak out against it. Do something about it. Bring attention to it. FIGHT AGAINST IT.
I Speak Thoughts
The line by Omar Epps in the movie Higher Learning makes more sense to me now. In the movie scene he was saying that he was a threat to the world as a black man whether he was educated or not. I have been a witness to the racism of this country. I have seen white women grab their purses a little tighter at the sight of a black man. I have seen white people walk across the street just to avoid the oncoming of a young black man on a college campus. I have been a car with a white woman who took the scenic route to avoid an entire neighborhood. If you think racism is not alive and well in this country, it stands to reason that you must live under a rock.
Trayvon Martin did not have to die for black people to know that racism surrounds us everywhere we go. It's not in our imaginations. Racism is apart of our world. It hasn't changed since the days of slavery. Racism has simply gotten more sophisticated. Black people are not getting lynched, literally, but we are getting lynched. Just look at the unemployment rate of black people compared to those of our white counterparts. The difference is extremely significant. Now compare the rate to that of black men and you will see the number increase dramatically. The fact that the President is black has only increased the volume of racism. It's loud and open and not afraid to spew hate. When I see cases like Trayvon Martin I can't help but to worry about all the black men and boys that I know. They are risk of being hunted and killed not for for what they do but simply for what they look like.
It's true that black men are not innocent in the way they are perceived. Some of them often feed into the stereotype of who they should be and how they should act. They wear clothes that are too big. They drive cars that have rims on them that are too big. They hang on street corners until the wee hours of the morning. They sell drugs. They listen to the music in their cars so loud that it often feels like they will crack windows to the homes they drive by. Some of them do all these the things without caring how they are perceived by the world. On the other hand, black men are fathers. They work hard to support their families. They have corporate jobs and own their own businesses. They wear suits and ties. They go to college and receive a degree. The drive a nice car and live in gated communities. They go to church and pray to God. All of the examples have been given does not change one fact, they are black and they are perceived as a threat.
As a mother, a life partner, a daughter, a sister, a family member and friend to every type of black man, I'm scared. Scared that one day I will receive the same call that Trayvon Martin's parents received. The call saying that my child, my life partner, my dad, my brother, my family member or my friend is dead simply because he is black. It is a fear deep rooted in the black community. There is not a single white person who fears the same thing. If you have a chance go the website globalgrind.com and read the article by Michael Skolnik, titled, White People, You Will Never Look Suspicious. Sometimes we have to speak up for the injustice in the world, not because we are black but because we are people. Injustice against black men is an injustice to all people. Speak out against it. Do something about it. Bring attention to it. FIGHT AGAINST IT.
I Speak Thoughts
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Positively Growing
When I was thinking about what I wanted to discuss in this blog, I started thinking about my life and how much I've grown. I am thinking about writing and learning and growing. I realized that the very thing I've decided to write about, I've been guilty of doing in the past. As I started to grow and change I knew that the things I used to do I couldn't do anymore. For me, I made the decision to not let what people think about me have any negative effects on me. It's true what has been said, The loudest person in the room is usually the weakest. The same can be said about the loudest person in a small town or the loudest person in a family.
What I learned through this growth process is that I was that person. The one who always had a strong opinion. I was the person who always needed to be right. I was the loudest person because I was so weak in other aspects of my life. I'm extremely lucky that I have a best friend who would allow me to have my opinion but also not be afraid to challenge me. I still manage to get my point across but I have learned that my opinion about any situation is that alone, my opinion. Growing up and living in a small town everyone has this idea that they know everybody. Well I don't have that idea anymore. I know for sure that I really don't know anybody and they have no idea who I really am. People only know what you tell them and they really don't know if what you say is the truth.
The really sad thing about life is that people will say any and everything about you. The will deliver lies to the people who are the loudest thinking that the more people that know than the more truth the lies hold. We see this everyday in the arena of politics and celebrities. You read it on Facebook and Twitter. You hear it grocery stores and at your place of employment. There will always be someone who will start a rumor and others who will spread that same rumor adding a little bit more to it. I used to be the person who was a part of spreading the rumor but now I don't even entertain what people say about others. The truth is if someone starts or spreads a rumor to you, they will most definitely start and spread one about you. I have been on a journey to be a better person than I was. I am doing what I can to spread a more positive message about life. In order for me to be better and more positive, I try not to respond to negativity in any way. If someone says something about me that I know is not true I don't even respond. My grandmother told me once, " it's not what people call you, it's what you answer to." There is so much more power in not responding to negativity. When I see some people's Facebook statuses talking about people hating on them, I shake my head. If someone doesn't like my blog post it doesn't offend me. I know that everything I do is not for everyone to receive. If you are truly doing something positive and productive in your life there is absolutely no need to broadcast to anyone. People will notice.
I understand promoting your talents and your artistry is very important and necessary. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there but you must always be prepared to hear negative comments about what you are doing. There are so many people who want to be exactly who you are. Those people are the loudest people out there. They are the people who want a response from you. My advice: don't give them the satisfaction. Keep doing what you are doing and your positivity will always outweigh there negativity. I want to use a few examples to explain what I mean. I am not the biggest fan of rap but I am a fan of music and the art of music. There is a rap guy and a rap group in Gueydan by the name of Chance Jolivette (rap guy) and Game Mob Family (the rap group). They are creating music that I'm not fond of but they are creating the music they love. I will never say anything negative about it just because I don't like the genre of music. In fact, I'm willing to listen and give it a chance. However, there are so many loud people that will only speak negatively about it. I would say this to these guys and ladies, if you enjoy what you are doing then you better keep doing what you're doing. You don't have to answer to the negativity just continue on your own journey.
I have always been a great supporter. I love to see other people soar and I'm happy when people succeed in life. For example, my best friend, Brooke is doing great things with her life. I have always been extremely proud of the person she is. Her light has always been bright but I never let it overshadow me. She allowed me to be a part of her support system. I believe that I am the best supporter in the world. I love to see other people succeed and fulfill their dreams and believe being their supporter has not stopped me from pursuing my goals. You can be a person who spreads positivity and succeed in your own life. You have to be willing to block out the negativity and move forward with who you are meant to be. I think the people who love me will agree that I'm always happy when they are happy. This happens when you are truly happy with the person you are. I know who I am and there is not one person on this earth who can tell me any different. Like I said, I once was the loudest but even when I was the loudest, I was still happy for the people who did great things with their lives. The growth has been that I know I no longer have to be the loudest in the room.
So in conclusion, I think sometimes you have to just be silent because your silence speak volumes. Stop using Facebook and Twitter to try and shut down the people who spread negativity about you. You can shut all the negative energy out of your life simply by not feeding into it. People will always have something to say about you whether it be negative or positive. The truth is you have to know what you're willing to answer to. Positive energy attracts positivity. It works in every aspect of our lives. If you want to have great friends, you have to be a great friend. If you want to have a good partner, you have to be a good partner. But if you want to something great and the only thing you talk about is the worst part of life then you are attracting the same negative energy you are putting out there. It may take some time and a better understanding of who you are but all good things takes a little time.
I Speak Thoughts
What I learned through this growth process is that I was that person. The one who always had a strong opinion. I was the person who always needed to be right. I was the loudest person because I was so weak in other aspects of my life. I'm extremely lucky that I have a best friend who would allow me to have my opinion but also not be afraid to challenge me. I still manage to get my point across but I have learned that my opinion about any situation is that alone, my opinion. Growing up and living in a small town everyone has this idea that they know everybody. Well I don't have that idea anymore. I know for sure that I really don't know anybody and they have no idea who I really am. People only know what you tell them and they really don't know if what you say is the truth.
The really sad thing about life is that people will say any and everything about you. The will deliver lies to the people who are the loudest thinking that the more people that know than the more truth the lies hold. We see this everyday in the arena of politics and celebrities. You read it on Facebook and Twitter. You hear it grocery stores and at your place of employment. There will always be someone who will start a rumor and others who will spread that same rumor adding a little bit more to it. I used to be the person who was a part of spreading the rumor but now I don't even entertain what people say about others. The truth is if someone starts or spreads a rumor to you, they will most definitely start and spread one about you. I have been on a journey to be a better person than I was. I am doing what I can to spread a more positive message about life. In order for me to be better and more positive, I try not to respond to negativity in any way. If someone says something about me that I know is not true I don't even respond. My grandmother told me once, " it's not what people call you, it's what you answer to." There is so much more power in not responding to negativity. When I see some people's Facebook statuses talking about people hating on them, I shake my head. If someone doesn't like my blog post it doesn't offend me. I know that everything I do is not for everyone to receive. If you are truly doing something positive and productive in your life there is absolutely no need to broadcast to anyone. People will notice.
I understand promoting your talents and your artistry is very important and necessary. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there but you must always be prepared to hear negative comments about what you are doing. There are so many people who want to be exactly who you are. Those people are the loudest people out there. They are the people who want a response from you. My advice: don't give them the satisfaction. Keep doing what you are doing and your positivity will always outweigh there negativity. I want to use a few examples to explain what I mean. I am not the biggest fan of rap but I am a fan of music and the art of music. There is a rap guy and a rap group in Gueydan by the name of Chance Jolivette (rap guy) and Game Mob Family (the rap group). They are creating music that I'm not fond of but they are creating the music they love. I will never say anything negative about it just because I don't like the genre of music. In fact, I'm willing to listen and give it a chance. However, there are so many loud people that will only speak negatively about it. I would say this to these guys and ladies, if you enjoy what you are doing then you better keep doing what you're doing. You don't have to answer to the negativity just continue on your own journey.
I have always been a great supporter. I love to see other people soar and I'm happy when people succeed in life. For example, my best friend, Brooke is doing great things with her life. I have always been extremely proud of the person she is. Her light has always been bright but I never let it overshadow me. She allowed me to be a part of her support system. I believe that I am the best supporter in the world. I love to see other people succeed and fulfill their dreams and believe being their supporter has not stopped me from pursuing my goals. You can be a person who spreads positivity and succeed in your own life. You have to be willing to block out the negativity and move forward with who you are meant to be. I think the people who love me will agree that I'm always happy when they are happy. This happens when you are truly happy with the person you are. I know who I am and there is not one person on this earth who can tell me any different. Like I said, I once was the loudest but even when I was the loudest, I was still happy for the people who did great things with their lives. The growth has been that I know I no longer have to be the loudest in the room.
So in conclusion, I think sometimes you have to just be silent because your silence speak volumes. Stop using Facebook and Twitter to try and shut down the people who spread negativity about you. You can shut all the negative energy out of your life simply by not feeding into it. People will always have something to say about you whether it be negative or positive. The truth is you have to know what you're willing to answer to. Positive energy attracts positivity. It works in every aspect of our lives. If you want to have great friends, you have to be a great friend. If you want to have a good partner, you have to be a good partner. But if you want to something great and the only thing you talk about is the worst part of life then you are attracting the same negative energy you are putting out there. It may take some time and a better understanding of who you are but all good things takes a little time.
I Speak Thoughts
Friday, February 3, 2012
The "Reality" of Being A Black Woman
I am not the women that you see on "reality" television. It's funny that I have to say those words. I must admit that I have watched these television shows and most times I feel disgusted by the way they look on the screen. For the most part, I think that these women are paid to "act" a real fool. Some would call it entertainment but let's face it, it's not funny anymore nor is it entertaining. I watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta (not every episode) and they are portrayed as loud, mostly uneducated, ignorant and bitches. I am not any of that. They do not represent me at all. Black woman have long been regarded, by other races, as everything I have mentioned. I have to point out that I also watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and they fight, yell & call each other bitches but they are not portrayed the same as their black counterparts who do the exact same thing.
The "Reality" is that the people who pay these women to act this way are rich white folks. If you have watched the show since it's inception then you probably have noticed that DeShawn & Lisa were not really involved in the over the top drama. Have you also noticed they are no longer a part of the show? The reality is the regular viewer of a "reality" show such as this one is not interested in anything other than the drama.
Let's just be honest, we all know black women who act like this way on a daily basis. Let's be even more honest, they are a part of our families. I also know every other race of women that act this way. Not all black women behave in a manner that is drama filled but the reality is they are the kind of black women who are portrayed on our television and movie screens more often than any other character trait of black woman. There are plenty of black television and film actresses that are portrayed in an extremely positive light but they are mostly in the background. As a child, like many others, I grew up watching The Cosby Show. Phylicia Rashad's portrayal of Clair Huxtable is the image of strength. She was a supportive wife, a great mother, a top attorney and what every black little girl wanted to grow up to be. She made little black girls dream for a better life and hope for a brighter future. The fact that it is rare to see the image of Clair Huxtable on the television screen does not diminish the fact that many black woman are living their dreams with great joy.
The reality of black women is so much more than what white people pay to portray on television. We are strong women and have been that way for many generations. We are educated and hard workers. We are more than our skin tone yet we are proud of who we are. The reality is that the women I know and love are smart and beautiful women who always are seen as inferior because of the color of skin they were blessed with. It's true that some are loud, have little to no education and display ignorance but most black women are the complete opposite of that truth.
We have been the backbone to our families and our ancestors were the backbone to the families of the same white people who treated them as unequal and less than. We have held our families together while the same black men that we love turn their backs on us. We have gone to work for hours and came home and raised smart and beautiful children. We are the women who are overlooked for jobs not because we are less qualified but because we are black. We are the same women who struggle but never give up.
The reality is black women are layered. We are not only stereotyped by other races but we also face those same stereotypes from the black men that have been raised their entire lives by a strong black woman. The fact is black women have always been strong. Now we are the financial contributors to our families in record numbers. We love these men so hard and they turn and run away from our strength. They say we have attitudes. The reality is we possess a God given confidence. They say we think we know it all. The reality is we may not know everything but we know exactly who we are. They say we always want to be in control. The reality is we have always given more of ourselves than most others. The reality of being a black woman is so much more than anything that you have seen on television. But the fact of the matter is we will always be portrayed as we what see as long as we watch. There is not a person alive that can tell me who I am. I live the reality everyday. I am a strong, confident, fiercely independent, ever-powerful woman. That reality that my skin is black is a bonus.
Dedicated to all the Black Women who love themselves enough to know the reality about Being a Black Woman.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Friends
A friend is defined as a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. So from that definition alone, how many friends do you really have? I know exactly how many friends I have not including my family. My friends are not necessarily the people who post statuses on my Facebook Wall. The people I call my friends in my life are the people who have been honest with me even when I didn't want to hear it. My friends are the people that I have been blessed to tell something to and they have kept it a closely guarded secret because I asked. My friends have never betrayed my trust. My friends have loved me through the worst of my pain and have helped to shield me from hurt. I have always been that friend. I have remained true to myself and what I truly believe in. I am the type of person who, at one point, found it hard to forgive. I realized that forgiveness has never been about the person who hurt me but has been about me. What I also learned is just because I have forgiven you doesn't mean I trust you.
Trust is the hardest thing to get back once you have proven yourself untrustworthy. I have always tried to be honest in the hopes that no person could say I violated their trust. I take that very seriously when it comes to my relationships with people. When I was younger, someone I was very close violated my trust. I have forgiven her but she can never get back the level of trust I had for her. It's funny how people think that just because you have forgiven them, that you have somehow erased, from your mind, what they did to you. I think that when someone you love hurts you and you forgive them, the pain they caused you remains as a blueprint of what you are willing to accept from people. For instance, if someone you regarded as your friend begins dating your boy/girlfriend when you are teenagers, how can you trust they will not do the same thing when you're adults? It is true that people grow and change but the question remains; can you trust them?
On the other side of the previous scenario, I have a friend who has been there for me through everything. She has never told me what I wanted to hear but have always told me what I needed to hear. Every word of advice she gives comes from love, honesty and a truthful place. We have never lied to one another. Our friendship is built upon Truth, Honesty, Communication, Loyalty and above all Love. She knows things about my life that most people could never understand. I trust her because I only put my trust in God and he has been the strongest part of this friendship.
I have other friends that I have confided in and they have never broken my trust. I keep them close to me. We don't have to talk to each other daily because we know that when we talk it will be the best of us. I am living a more positive life so I truly don't have time for negativity around me. I remain faithful to God who continues to bless me with understanding, forgiveness and love. I have great friends because I am a true friend indeed. I have never been afraid to let go of friendships that didn't enhance my life. I have always been able to grow through the pain of loss and losing a friend has not been any different. So my questions are, Are you a friend? and Do you know who your friends are?
Trust is the hardest thing to get back once you have proven yourself untrustworthy. I have always tried to be honest in the hopes that no person could say I violated their trust. I take that very seriously when it comes to my relationships with people. When I was younger, someone I was very close violated my trust. I have forgiven her but she can never get back the level of trust I had for her. It's funny how people think that just because you have forgiven them, that you have somehow erased, from your mind, what they did to you. I think that when someone you love hurts you and you forgive them, the pain they caused you remains as a blueprint of what you are willing to accept from people. For instance, if someone you regarded as your friend begins dating your boy/girlfriend when you are teenagers, how can you trust they will not do the same thing when you're adults? It is true that people grow and change but the question remains; can you trust them?
On the other side of the previous scenario, I have a friend who has been there for me through everything. She has never told me what I wanted to hear but have always told me what I needed to hear. Every word of advice she gives comes from love, honesty and a truthful place. We have never lied to one another. Our friendship is built upon Truth, Honesty, Communication, Loyalty and above all Love. She knows things about my life that most people could never understand. I trust her because I only put my trust in God and he has been the strongest part of this friendship.
I have other friends that I have confided in and they have never broken my trust. I keep them close to me. We don't have to talk to each other daily because we know that when we talk it will be the best of us. I am living a more positive life so I truly don't have time for negativity around me. I remain faithful to God who continues to bless me with understanding, forgiveness and love. I have great friends because I am a true friend indeed. I have never been afraid to let go of friendships that didn't enhance my life. I have always been able to grow through the pain of loss and losing a friend has not been any different. So my questions are, Are you a friend? and Do you know who your friends are?
Friday, December 30, 2011
My Year
I must say...This year has been a great blessing to me. I have discovered me. What more could I ask for? My relationship with Drake is stronger than ever. My relationship with my kids is unbreakable. My family loyalty is undeniable. My friends are my extended family. What can I say except I am truly blessed and highly favored. This year my goal was to have a more positive impact on my life and the lives of people around me. I think that I have done that. I'm looking forward to next year because I just want to continue to grow, learn and challenge myself and others to be more positive. I have decided to live each day and breath today's air. I am not worried about tomorrow because tomorrow is not promised. I want to have the important conversations with God today. I want to live everyday spending moments with the people I love and who lift me up. I would like to think that I have had some kind of positive impact on everyone who was able to read a blog post, facebook status or tweet that was sent from me.
My life this year has been one of great blessings. I have been able to share a little more of my life with you in hopes of you taking away something that will ultimately help you live your most authentic self. Please believe my year hasn't been without trials and tests but anything bad that happened to me has only made me more aware of love and God. I have learned something from myself that I really didn't believe before. I am STRONG. I am WOMAN. I am a GREAT MOTHER. I am a GREAT PARTNER. I am a GREAT FRIEND. I am a GREAT PERSON. I am POSITIVE. I am GOD LOVING. I am TRULY BLESSED and VERY HUMBLE. I hope you have recognized this in me but if you haven't maybe you need to look closer at yourself because I know exactly who I am.
So for the year 2012, I will continue to grow and learn. I will be better tomorrow than I am today. I will always be honest. I will love harder and give more. I will be blessed because I will stay prayerful. I will be here to lend my ear and shoulder and offer words of inspiration and encouragement. I want to help in any way I can without judgment. With all that said...HAVE A GOD BLESSED YEAR.
My life this year has been one of great blessings. I have been able to share a little more of my life with you in hopes of you taking away something that will ultimately help you live your most authentic self. Please believe my year hasn't been without trials and tests but anything bad that happened to me has only made me more aware of love and God. I have learned something from myself that I really didn't believe before. I am STRONG. I am WOMAN. I am a GREAT MOTHER. I am a GREAT PARTNER. I am a GREAT FRIEND. I am a GREAT PERSON. I am POSITIVE. I am GOD LOVING. I am TRULY BLESSED and VERY HUMBLE. I hope you have recognized this in me but if you haven't maybe you need to look closer at yourself because I know exactly who I am.
So for the year 2012, I will continue to grow and learn. I will be better tomorrow than I am today. I will always be honest. I will love harder and give more. I will be blessed because I will stay prayerful. I will be here to lend my ear and shoulder and offer words of inspiration and encouragement. I want to help in any way I can without judgment. With all that said...HAVE A GOD BLESSED YEAR.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Struggles Redefined
I'm really beginning to appreciate my struggles. They have led me to this exact moment in my life. I've always wanted more out of my life but my approach has always been one dimensional. Now I understand the reason for my struggles and I am proud to say that I have and am learning from them. We have all been through something. We have wondered how are we going to make it through this or that. We have prayed, wished and hoped for something better. The problem with the praying, wishing and hoping is that once we don't receive the answer that we want when we want it, we stop doing all those things. We stop depending on God and we begin asking family and friends for guidance. What we forget is that our family and friends have their own issues and problems to deal with. So sometimes we are listening to their advice not realizing that they are giving it from their own situations. You know they are saying, "this is what I will do" instead of giving the advice that caters to your situation. I'm not saying the advice is not good, I'm just saying the advice may not be intended for you to hear. And because we gave up on God, we are often taking advice from someone not qualified to give it.
For instance, you ask a friend or family member for relationship advice and they haven't had a relationship in years. The advice they gave you will automatically come from their viewpoint. I'm not saying the advice is bad, I'm asking, are they even qualified to give you that kind of advice? The answer is...probably not. Now you have taken the advice of someone who tells you that being in the relationship is not a good idea. Guess what? You are now single. Think about the entire situation you are in and then review the conversation you had with your single friend or family member. I know you are probably contemplating what just happened.
What I have learned is that it's okay to ask for advice from someone but just make sure they are qualified to give you the right kind of advice. After getting their advice you still must be able to listen to what God is saying. Sometimes the person who gives you advice is telling you to leave while God is telling you to stay because your breakthrough is coming to meet you. I love giving advice to people but I make sure I know how to give that advice. I never say what I will do because I never know what I will do unless I'm in the situation. Instead I give them options and I tell them that they have a God given ability to simply Pray and wait for his response.
I have honestly learned that struggles are just road maps to a better life. Sometimes we have to take the alternate route called change. I am changing and I know it's because my breakthrough is fast approaching. I want to be prepared for everything God has in store for me. I keep a smile on face and positive thoughts about life on my mind and in my heart. Even if I am presented with a setback, I know I will be better prepared to handle it. I am always talking to God but I stopped telling him my plans. LOL!!
For instance, you ask a friend or family member for relationship advice and they haven't had a relationship in years. The advice they gave you will automatically come from their viewpoint. I'm not saying the advice is bad, I'm asking, are they even qualified to give you that kind of advice? The answer is...probably not. Now you have taken the advice of someone who tells you that being in the relationship is not a good idea. Guess what? You are now single. Think about the entire situation you are in and then review the conversation you had with your single friend or family member. I know you are probably contemplating what just happened.
What I have learned is that it's okay to ask for advice from someone but just make sure they are qualified to give you the right kind of advice. After getting their advice you still must be able to listen to what God is saying. Sometimes the person who gives you advice is telling you to leave while God is telling you to stay because your breakthrough is coming to meet you. I love giving advice to people but I make sure I know how to give that advice. I never say what I will do because I never know what I will do unless I'm in the situation. Instead I give them options and I tell them that they have a God given ability to simply Pray and wait for his response.
I have honestly learned that struggles are just road maps to a better life. Sometimes we have to take the alternate route called change. I am changing and I know it's because my breakthrough is fast approaching. I want to be prepared for everything God has in store for me. I keep a smile on face and positive thoughts about life on my mind and in my heart. Even if I am presented with a setback, I know I will be better prepared to handle it. I am always talking to God but I stopped telling him my plans. LOL!!
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